Friday, July 18, 2008

At Least I'm Not Wet Behind the Ears

The other morning as we drove to work together (the kiddo is currently in a summer program a few yards from my office), I accidentally parked in my usual afternoon spot. "Whoops!" I said as I reparked my car. "I guess I somehow thought I was coming back from lunch instead of just getting to work!"

The kiddo thought about this, then very sincerely offered, "Here's a tip, Mom. When you're pulling into the parking lot, just feel your hair. If it's wet, you're just getting to work!"

Heh. ;^)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Chow Mama

After loading the kiddo and the dogs into the car, then locking the garage door...

Son: Suzy missed you and cried a little bit, but I just told her, "Don't worry, your meal ticket will be back in a minute."

He's got that right. ;^)

And No, I Was Not Spooning the Dog When I Awoke

I just had the funniest dream. (Thanks, cold medicine!) I fell asleep with Slider snuggled up next to the couch (after apparently deciding I was too warm to snuggle with), and I dreamt that I was kind to an intelligent stray dog who was hanging around a church. He wandered into the church during service to find me, then turned out to be a man in disguise. He was incredibly tall (think CJ from Top Chef), and loving and devoted. We stayed with his family for a while as he fixed things that needed repair, and built things for me.

As for whether it later turned into a sex dream, I'll leave that to your imagination. And yes, it was good. ;^)

Friday, July 04, 2008

Morning Scene

Kiddo: Mom, I love you, please, I love you, please, I love you, I love you, I love you, please, I love you, please, please, please, I love you, I love you, I love you, pleeeeeeeease...can I teach you chess this morning?

Me: Stop! Cuteness overload! I'm overwhelmed by the cuteness!!

Kiddo: Really? You really think I'm that cute?

Me: Yep.

Kiddo: [batting eyelashes doubletime right in my face] PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEEEASE??

Me: Ah, honey, I need to say no.

Kiddo: AAAUUUGGGHHH!!! [commences theaterical crying]

Me: You're scaring Slider.

Kiddo: [continues crying and wailing]

Me: You sound like you're falling off a cliff. [imitates son's Doppler effect-style wailing]

Kiddo: [crying and trying not to laugh] So will you play chess with me?

Me: Honey, no, we need to get dressed and I haven't eaten breakfast yet.

Kiddo: You've RUINED my INDEPENDENCE DAY!! [resumes crying and wailing]

[Time passes, during which the kiddo eventually gets a grip and is happy again, sans chess game.]

Me: Time to get in the shower.

Kiddo: Okay! [climbing into shower] Oh, wait! I was going to refuse to get in!

Me: ...

Kiddo: Heh-heh. Just kidding!


Wednesday, July 02, 2008

The Dogs Might Be Out to Get Me

Well, I tried letting the dogs run loose when we're not home, but that experiment...did not yield the desired results ;-) so I've resumed confining the dogs when we go out. Needless to say, they don't exactly like this, but they seem resigned to it. Nevertheless, Suzy seems to find ways to keep me busy. The other night when I took the kiddo to swimming lessons, I hastily gated her in the bathroom. (Slider is occupying her crate for now.) When we returned home she was wet, assumably from having climbed into (and out of!) the toilet. Fabulous. Off the the bath she went, to become once again fluffy and sweet-smelling.

Today we came home and took the dogs for their usual walk. Along the way, Slider amused us with his three-legged poop-spin. It's like a poop breakdance the way he turns around several times on three legs before balancing to poop while he holds one leg up in the air. Good thing he doesn't seem to mind being laughed at in his vulnerable moments.

All was fine, and we came home to give the doggies some water and let them relax. I walked into the bathroom to wash my hands as I made a phone call (always multi-tasking), followed by the dogs, and turned around to find a fresh pile of barf right behind me. Why Suzy couldn't have done this outside is beyond me. How to keep her out of Slider's food is another head-scratcher.

No boredom over here. Nope.