Thursday, August 28, 2008

And Now I Really Should Get Ready for Work

A quick update and then I'm slinking off to write a real post. I think I've been putting off writing about some hugely painful things that have been going on, and have been instead playing on the surface. That doesn't feel honest to me.

But first...

Had a great time with the new mom-friend, A. We met at 9:00 a.m. for coffee, stayed until about 1:30 p.m., and never ran out of things to talk about. Her husband and son (same age as the kiddo - seven) dropped by unexpectedly and it was nice to see them as well. They hadn't known which coffee place we were going to, so seeing them was a pleasant surprise. Anyway, A. and I plan to get together regularly. She said it's been a while since she made a new friend, esp. so quickly, and I agreed. It's just so great to hit it off with someone like that.


Here's what I really need to start writing about (well, part of it at least): This morning I started to have a panic attack while walking the dogs. I had my cell phone on me, but no meds, and I started to hyperventilate and feel desperate. I almost flagged down a woman who was checking her mail...but what would I have said? "Please sit here with me and hold my hand while I get through my panic attack"? I managed to get through it by singing three songs with the same melody (ABC, Twinkle Twinkle, Baa-Baa Black Sheep) as I walked steadily toward home and dragged the poor dogs along. Suzy was panting but I couldn't afford to slow down. Poor Suzy.

I feel somehow ashamed and weak and yet I know I don't need to feel that way. I've also been holding off on writing about this because it's so hideously painful to me and I'm still just learning how to deal with (overcome?) it after things reached critical mass last December.

So I will think about how to write about this.

In the meantime, please visit one of my favorite bloggers, Mrs. G of Derfwad Manor. I caught up on her posts after coming home from my walk and I am so grateful to her for her humor and honesty that have particularly uplifted me today. I have this little idea that if she and I ever met in real life, we'd hit it off and gab for hours. ;^)