Friday, September 30, 2005

Stirring the Sediment

My son called me a few minutes ago from his dad's cell phone and said he was at his dad's girlfriend's house and they were playing ball. Well, that's great, I said. I always make a point of being "up" when he calls because he's the coolest little dude ever and it's not his fault his dad's a prick. So there I was, talking with the kiddo, having a merry time and also processing the information that they were up in L.A., and oh, so that's the reason R. didn't call me back today when I left the message about the open house at the fire station tomorrow in our neighborhood...when I heard a woman's voice ask the kiddo if that was his mom on the phone. He said yes, and then she asked if she could talk to me, and he said NO. Good boy. ;^) She bugged him a bit more until he finally agreed, and there I was, talking with the woman I didn't ever want to talk with. She said she just "had the impulse" to say hi to me, and told me she "just love(s)" the kiddo and thanked me for being such a great mom -- and I interrupted her in the middle of her breathless babbling and asked her to put my son back on the phone, please. She said a couple more things and I was just silent, then she said, "Well, bye..." a little deflatedly and I said goodbye.

And I'm pissed.

Yes, she sounds like a nice person, which I'd already assumed she would be. But what the fuck was that about grabbing the phone to say hi to me when I was talking with MY SON...?? I'm guessing she doesn't totally understand what went on with me and my son's dad, and doesn't know what the emotions are around all this. Plus, even though I don't want to get back together with my son's dad, I didn't want the girlfriend to be real. And I feel like she kind of ambushed me. I mean, if she wanted to tell me what a fucking great mom I am, she could've written me a fucking letter.

And was she expecting we would just click and be friends, just like that, if ever?

I feel like if I were to try to set a boundary after the fact, like if I were to call my son's dad back right now or call the girlfriend right now and say, "Hey, don't ever take the phone away from my boy when he's talking to me. I am not interested in talking with you. Ever," I would just look like a crazy bitch. Still, I guess my terseness set the boundary. I don't suppose she's going to want to talk to me again soon, and that suits me just fine.

I am rattled by this, and I wish I weren't, and I wish I could talk to someone right now.