Running the Numbers

Outside temperature: 107 degrees (F).

Power outage duration: 12 hours.

Number of six-year-olds in house: 1 (seems like 10).

Number of times said six-year-old woke up parental unit due to heat and fear and discomfort during the night, after said parental unit had struggled to fall asleep in the airless, sweltering house: 4.

Number of ants parental unit viewed (via flashlight) in the kitchen sink during power outage: 40.

Number of ants parental unit killed in the kitchen sink during power outage: 40.

Substance used: 409.

Time power initially went out: 5:00 p.m.

Time electric company estimated power would be restored: 8:00 p.m.

Revised estimate on power restoration: 10:00 p.m.

Revised estimate on power restoration: 6:42 a.m.

Time the electric company truck/crane rolled up right outside bedroom window, with work lights and beeps and shouting and grinding: 4:00 a.m.

Time six-year-old woke up for the day: 4:30 a.m.

Time power was restored: 5:15 a.m.

Number of happy dances performed by parental unit and six-year-old: 1.

Number of times six-year-old has cried and begged to be allowed to stay up tonight to watch the baseball game: 5.

Number of times parental unit has denied this request due to sleep deficit on part of six-year-old and parental unit: 5.

Number of times six-year-old has called parental unit mean and unfair, and demanded that parental unit "have some respect" and stop "ruining [his] life": 10.

Number of automatic garage doors yet to be reconnected following power outage: 1.

Number of times parental unit has scoured the Internet for instructions on this: 4.

Number of times parental unit has wondered why it is so much easier to disconnect the automatic garage door opener than it is to reconnect it: 87 (and counting).

Number of minutes until parental unit will be able to call it a day and go to sleep: 90 (unless six-year-old falls asleep sooner).

Number of editing projects parental unit put on hold due to power outage: 9.

Number of editing projects parental unit has yet to complete before bedtime: 6.

Number of editors who have called to inquire as to the whereabouts of a project: 1.

Okay then.