Another One for Mommy's Macabre Memoirs

My son likes to hear stories of how I messed up as a kid, or of times I got hurt. I know, right? So in the car on the way home last night, my son piped up:

Kiddo: Mommy, does it hurt if your nail comes off?

Me: Well, yes.

Kiddo: Like, does it hurt a LOT?

Me: Um, yes. Why do you ask?

Kiddo: I was just wondering.

Me: Is your nail coming off?

Kiddo: No.

Me: Okay, but let's cut your nails tomorrow, okay?

Kiddo: Okay. But does it hurt a-lot-a-lot-a-lot if your nail comes off?

Me: Yep, if your whole nail comes off. (holding up my finger and showing him how big the nail really is) You know how I know?

Kiddo: How?

Me: Because when I was a kid, I was playing a game with another friend and, I think, Auntie _____, and my friend Karen asked if she could play, and I said no, and she threw her toy camera at me, and guess where it landed!

Kiddo: Where?

Me: Right on my pinky fingernail.

Kiddo: Right on your fingernail??

Me: Yup.

Kiddo: Then what happened?

Me: Well, it bled and it bled and it bled, and I cried a whole lot, and my friend's mom came out and wrapped my hand in a towel and then walked me home, and my mom put a big bandage on it, and I lay on the couch all afternoon with my hand up a little so it wouldn't hurt so much, and my friend who threw the camera had to come over and apologize to me.

Kiddo: Wow. That must've hurt.

Me: It did. And then it turned colors.

Kiddo: Like what colors?

Me: Like purple or blue...

Kiddo: And yellow?

Me: Yeah, but first green, then kinda yellow.

Kiddo: AGH!!

Me: Yeah, it was gross. And then you know what?

Kiddo: What?

Me: My nail fell off in about a week or so.

Kiddo: AAAGGGHHH!!

Me: Yeah, you're right about that.

Kiddo: So how did you get a new nail?

Me: It just grew back when it was ready, and now my finger looks just fine.

Kiddo: Oh.

Me: But you know how I said my friend had to come over and say sorry to me?

Kiddo: Yeah...

Me: Well, I didn't think about this when I was a kid, but when I got to be a grownup I realized I should've apologized to her, too, for telling her she couldn't play with us.

Kiddo: Yeah, why did you tell her that?

Me: I was being naughty.

Kiddo: Oh. But that doesn't mean she can just throw a camera at you!

Me: True...

Kiddo: I mean, she coulda killed ya! That coulda been the end of your life!

Me: (laughing as I explain that people don't die from Fisher-Price cameras...)