Friday, August 12, 2005

I Don't Like to Think About SpongeBob Naked

Sponge Child

So yesterday my son was playing the SpongeBob game, "Battle for Bikini Bottom," on his GameBoy. I hate to admit it, but the game is sorta fun -- at least the first three levels, which is about as high as I seem to be able to go. My son, on the other hand, is a 4.5-year-old whiz at this and is constantly handing me the GameBoy on some super-duper advanced level and looking at me like he expects me to get it. This wasn't in my job description, so I don't feel too bad about my lack of GameBoy proficiency.

Anyway, when one reaches a certain skill level one can "unlock" certain photos in the "photo album." So I'm sitting at the computer, the kiddo is playing his game and giving me the usual play-by-play commentary, and I'm making all the usual "Oh? I see...that's cool...hmm..." noises, and then the kiddo says, "Mom! I unlocked the picture of SpongeBob with his pee-pee up in the air!"

(Pause.) "Um, I'm sorry. What is in the air?"

"His pee-pee, Mom! His PEE-PEE! Mom, don't you know what I'm TALKING ABOUT??" (I vex him so with my ignorance.)

"Um, show me."

"LOOK," he says exasperatedly to the Dumbest Mommy Ever (can't even defeat RoboPatrick -- sheesh), and shows me a photo of SpongeBob with his pinky (little) finger in the air.

And then I could breathe again, the sun came out, the birds began to sing and all was right with the world.

Well, not exactly, but at least I got to stop thinking about SpongeBob's penis.

Okay, you got me. I'm still thinking about it. ;^)