Thursday, August 04, 2005

Conversations With My Son, #572

Today I bought a bra at WalMart and my son was fascinated. (I will now pause so some of you can boo WalMart while I stick my fingers in my ears and hum the music from my son's SpongeBob Movie Game.) I suppose it would've been weird if he hadn't been interested, seeing as I spent about an hour in the ladies' underwear section looking for the best bra at the lowest price. (It exists!) I mean, what else should he have been looking at?

Anyway, the kiddo started asking questions. "Those things are for your breasts, right? Are they called underwear? Like underpants? I know they're not underpants! I said they're for your BREASTS. Boys don't have breasts. They just have moles. See?" As he spoke, he pulled the collar of his shirt way down and pointed at his little boy nipples. "Mommy! I'm showing you my moles! Boys have MOLES, and ladies have BREASTS! Mommy! Why are you laughing? I'm showing you my MOLES!! Mommy, look!" (poking nipples)

I'm telling you, that made the trip worthwhile right there, but I still couldn't get out of the store fast enough. Now I have to explain to him about the difference between moles and breasts, and why boys don't have big breasts. I think I'll leave the subject of man-breasts for a later date.

And I wonder why the kid has strange dreams about body parts...