At Least He Didn't Say "Uranus"

My son is becoming a little too cool for this world. When I picked him up from school today, he gave me his best impression of a teenager dissing his mother. Oh yes he did. Apparently nothing I did was right or good, so he felt he didn't have to listen to me. Wayull...since our latest project is teaching him to be respectful, I imposed the dreaded "no G*me B*y" consequence, which resulted in plenty o' tears. (No, not mine.)

But the kiddo is a smarty, and all the way home he kept trying to negotiate with me. I'd clarified his consequence, saying that he had to finish all his homework immediately after school and before being allowed to play his game. "When we get home, can we have a hug to reconnect?" he sniffled. Sure, I said. "Okay," he continued, "I'll hug you on one condition: that I get to play my game right when we get home." Nope, I said, Mommy sets the conditions, not you, and I already said you need to finish your homework right away before you get to play your game. "Would you have let me play my game first if I hadn't been disrespectful?" he asked. Yep. Kiddo: (wails).

"You know what?" he blustered, "I have a love meter! And it goes from one to a hundred! And right now you're at ninety-five!" Oh, okay, I said. "Wait! I think there was something else you did yesterday that I didn't like, so you're really at NINETY!!" Oh, okay. "Wait. How about ninety-three? Yeah, you're at ninety-three, okay?" Sure, but remember I love you all the time and it's my job to help you grow up to be a good man, okay? "Yes," he said, "but I wish I could blast your butt to Jupiter!"

Hey, seriously, do you want to play your game at all today? "Yes! Yes! I was just kidding!" Hmm.

And now his homework is all finished and packed for tomorrow, he happily played his game, and he came over periodically to hug me. Guess I crept back up on the love meter. Won't be long until I slip back down down a few points, though. It's really more like a love yo-yo. ;^)

As I snuggled him a little at bedtime, he asked, "So are you still mad about my behavior today?" No, absolutely not, I told him.

"Yeah," he said, "I did my time."