Saturday, July 22, 2006

My Dad's in the Hospital

Last week my dad had a blood test, and the results came back on Thursday. His hemoglobin was drastically down, and he hadn't been feeling well recently, naturally. When the result came in, the doctor said to go to his regular doc or the ER, so he went to the ER because it was late in the day. The hospital ran some tests, released him, and he went for an echocardiogram on Friday morning. His regular doctor told him he recommended a blood transfusion, so after some balking, my dad went to the hospital again for two units of blood, which takes several hours.

This morning the hospital is starting him on his third unit of blood and his doctor has been there, checking on him. The doc recommended that my dad have a colonoscopy, because a drastic drop in hemoglobin can be associated with colon cancer. I'm taking this possibility the worst of anyone in my family, so it's probably best that I'm not there. The others are of the mind that these are just tests, that we're just trying to assess the situation to see what's really going on, which is very practical and smart, of course.

My dad has been under a lot of medical care in recent years (last year he had a TIA), so I'm hoping that whatever is going on is caught early, but of course I worry and I'm a bit of a wreck this morning. But it's good that my dad has doctors who are up to date on his condition.

He's pretty stressed out, and didn't want to have the colonoscopy today. He wanted to go home and sleep in his own bed and schedule it for another time, but naturally his doctor told him it's best to just have it now, since he's already in the hospital.

My mom said I should probably not go to the hospital, since Dad would find it troubling if he knew I drove 100 miles up there. It would make him feel like things are more dire. So here I sit.

I keep searching for the magic words to tell my son's dad that will soften his heart and convince him to rethink his position on staying in San Diego (we're bound by the court order to stay in San Diego unless we agree to move), because now more than ever I want to move closer to my family, to be able to be there for my dad at a moment's notice. But honestly I can't imagine anything that would truly move my ex, unless it directly pertained to his life. Still, I sent him an email anyway. I'm praying.

I feel too far away from my family right now, and I feel powerless.

Please keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers. Thanks.